did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My penis needs a shock collar
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize