Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
