Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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