She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
