If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
