Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Me too!
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
