You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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