is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Shame - the story of my life.
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