i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
