just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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