what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
