Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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