One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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