You're earring is so big in my mouth
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
