What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
this is an emotional support booty call
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
