I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
