All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
