Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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