I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
There are leaves in my underwear?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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