I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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