I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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