Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
