all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
