ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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