its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize