Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
