apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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