Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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