The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
