this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i dont even know how to be here
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
