just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
