Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
