I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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