omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
The air taste purple.
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