sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
