That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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