Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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