I accidentally had phone sex last night
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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