Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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