I could have mohawked her pubes.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
