I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
