is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
