my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
