did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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