a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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