Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
