I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
