I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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