My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
