Buhtt sex?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
