I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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