nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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