these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize