It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
