At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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