Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I touched a dick in church today
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
