I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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