Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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