u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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