How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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