and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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