This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
