shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
