he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
